Seeing people as a person... Do you?

Repeatedly, I see people treated as objects, numbers, spokes in a wheel or a means to an end.

Take the film, "Patch Adams", one scene has trainee doctors around a patient on a stretcher discussing her condition, then Patch simply enquires after her name - the patient then becomes a person and rightly so.

In the workplace... Those in higher authority walk into an area discussing negative outcomes of existing practise as well as forward plans not considering the feelings of the team of workers who go about their business, or that each worker is a person.

Only today it was announced that a "This is Me", 2-page document has been introduced for those diagnosed with Alzheimer's, inviting each person to list such things as: their food preferences, names of grandchildren, how they like to sleep, reveal a nickname they like to respond to, favourite music etc., prior to their anticipated memory loss. The aim is to help carers to retain each person's dignity and be better informed in order to treat the individual as a person. It is so readily forgotten, prior to such a diagnosis many held positions of responsibility, were an inspiration to others, shared humour, had an active life etc.

Conversations about a child do not involve the child even though they are present. A child is a person. Speaking and listening to children benefits mutual respect and positive relationships.

Those diagnosed with terminal illness suddenly find themselves hearing conversations concerning their welfare directed to a relative as if they are no longer able to supply information or to respond. Imagine how frustrating that must be? You'd want to shout from the rooftops, "I'm still alive", a person!

When observing others, it is so easy to see people at face value and not consider the person with a life.

What is your take on this?

A record of an observation... for the "melting pot" perhaps?

Like the motion of two whacking great musical symbols,the windscreen wipers on the bus repeatedly came together then opened wide again, only the sound they made was of the squeak and drag kind!

A flurry of snow continued to fall, whirling its way towards and around the bus making me feel considerably glad to be transported to work.

A guy swiftly claimed the seat immediately in front of mine. As my eyes dropped down so I couldn't help but to survey his hairline. I saw a scattering of grey, just as if a pocket of talc had settled between the peaks he'd created standing proud at the top of his head.

I caught a whiff of peppermint then saw his jaw working out on chewing gum. He explored his left ear with his finger, scratched briefly and by four bus stops, thankfully he seemed to settle.

Now a regular passenger, who I recognise as the chap that wears a khaki, cotton leisure jacket. The one with the huge hood, that makes his head look so tiny in comparison. It features a synthetic white fur ruff trim and a frustratingly BIG white label of fabric information,
He wears a collar & tie and shoes, so well polished they reflect his well spruced hair. It is so obvious that this gent takes his morning ablutions most seriously.

He departs at the University of the West of England, a mature student or a Tutor perhaps?

Author's Interview

When I heard during a TV interview that she had 15 highly acclaimed best selling novels, my attention was captured. I soon learned it was Joanna Trollope sat in the hot seat. She was speaking about her new bestseller,
"The Other Family".

Joanna regarded herself as a candid writer, who doesn't take sides, just presents the information for the reader to form their own opinion and arrive at their own conclusions. Joanna spoke about the depth and kind of research she did for this book. It includes issues surrounding legacy and inheritance. Joanna also spoke of how she determined the locations within her novel.

She spoke with authority and honesty. Joanna came across to me, as quite balanced, broad thinking, a reliable researcher and most credible.

Guess my choice of Author for this week?

As a result of reading more regularly and ensuring to explore varying Authors', my style of writing is developing for the better. Incidentally, my novel writing is so different from the way I approach this blog that you are reading!

Thought Provoking Postcards...

I open and turn on my laptop, impatiently wait for it to connect then addictively go to my blogspot. The anticipation of an indication that there is a comment brings my adrenaline to life. In the absence of one, so many other things claim my time instead.

Winter seems to have lengthened this year, Spring just can't arrive quick enough. When I see daylight, I breath.

I was sifting through a whole range of stored papers this dark Winter's evening and I came across three thought provoking postcards. Each one featured a question....
If you could bank a TASTE what would it be?
If you could bank a PRICELESS MOMENT what would it be?
If you could bank a SMELL what would it be?

How deep would you have to think to answer?

What would your answers be?

Thoughts on Valentine's Days...

What is it about boys in their late teens, that are so obviously attracted to a girl, experiencing that buzz at the very sight or mention of her, yet refuse to be tempted to send, albeit an anonymous, Valentines card?

It is such an ideal opportunity for harmless flirtation, at the very least.

Have the days disappeared, when it was simple fun to cut out letters or phrases from newspapers/magazines, to convey a message of interest on Valentine's Day?

That serge of adrenaline, arousal of the inner Spring, surely can only be good for you?

Run with youth, I say. These years of innocent bliss should be explored, a bit like walking before you can run!

When you have made a commitment to someone, Valentine's Day is a good time to exchange feelings, to acknowledge a chosen and positive relationship.

After marriage or living with a long-term partner, I believe Valentine's Day provides a chance to rekindle dimensions of romance, you could say some way towards a relationship "health-check". It's an occasion to show how much you know and consider the other. The value of the gift is not how big it is, it's the depth from which it was arrived. To source something spoken about many moons ago or a token that means alot to the other, can often be small in size, but huge in thought & gesture.

With family around, it is a positive move to mark Valentine's Day - demonstrate the wanting to make time for spontaneity and passion, "us" time, maintaining a life balance.

With effort, comes reward. What you want to do in life, you ultimately make time for. Do the same in a close relationship and innate contentment develops.

I once read,'Smile with your face, smile with your mind, then good energy comes to you'. Try it....

Keep romance, surprise and consideration between you and yours!

What has been your experience?

Writers' Journey

As I read so it informs my writing. I particularly note the words and phrases that capture my attention as well as the tone that persuades me to read on.

Likewise, the narration incorporated in certain films, can be so expressive.

I do believe I have become more observant and better at listening since writing from my life experiences.

"A Novel in a Year" by Louise Doughty based on a successful newspaper column, I have found both frank and practical. Whilst designed to be read one chapter per week, I read the entire book over 5 days as I found I just had to read on and on. Some exercises I had already completed, others I explored, whilst some remain to do. Of course I feel one year to write a book, is very ambitious for a new author, even if technique comes naturally.

I have just started to read, "eat, pray, love" an autobiography by Elizabeth Gilbert. A Bestseller of which 6 million copies have been sold worldwide.

I am intrigued as she writes about her efforts to find balance, through self-inquiry. My journeys next week will be shortened as I come to grips with her tales.

Each novel I have read since the summer of last year, has been structured so differently with this one as no exception. Elizabeth sets out to provide 108 tales which divides into 3 equal sections, each set in a different country and include 36 of the tales. The Author is in her 36th year!

Are you as curious as me?

A character...

I found myself thinking, 'bastard's got my seat!' as I had to take an alternative and much inferior position on the bus.

I put him in the mid to late 50's age bracket. The sullen look of Clement Freud and the wrinkles of a mastiff dog, came to mind!

As per usual, his black knitted hat was pulled well down against his weary, weathered face. He sat diagonally taking up a double seat. He took a slouched and indifferent pose whilst sitting cross-legged. It was then I saw his well worn suede lace-ups and dark grey woollen socks which made me suspect it was a man dressing himself, as opposed to those men with a good woman at the helm!

His clothing is always in shades of brown and black. As he rose to depart the bus, I could see the full extent of his close fitting black anorak that had a hood. He carried a black document bag.

Immediately off the bus, he swiftly lit his habitual cigarette and walked amongst pupils on route to the local secondary school, where he works.

What message do you suppose he is sending?

Turning a life experience into Literature...

Just a little way into the film (500) Days of Summer, came a quote from Henry Miller who apparently once said, "Best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature"...

Perhaps this is one of the reasons I feel a passion and sense of purpose to pursue my writing - sub-conscious therapy perhaps?


At the moment my novel has a possible title, "Mourning After". The enormity of my husbands sudden death I am attempting to turn into literature.

Judy Delton, an American writer is quoted as saying, "Writing is an active occupation, not a passive one." She also advised, "You have to make things happen". Both statements,I agree with.

Besides enjoying the networking and benefits of writing courses, I have tried initial exercises suggested by Louise Doughty which included writing about myself succinctly and evocatively.

I have written about incidents and events from real life, then tried adding a fictional spin on them, to develop my writing skills further.

I wish to be a good and informative read for other widows, whilst providing a journey of acceptance, cheer with a dimension of hope.

I ultimately wish my first novel to generate smiles by including some comical instances along the way, celebrate life, even though the journey has been and remains undeniably tough and thought provoking.

Chief Look-out!

How is it, I am most eager to travel to work on damp, grey days?

No birds can be heard over the continuous noise of increasing traffic, travelling along the main road today.

The weather presents a bewitching dimension to my morning, playing tricks with my eyes. The trees that I saw as green against a blue sky yesterday, appear almost black on this damp day. Established paint companies would have a field day naming the colour sky before me; white-grey, smoked cloud, ghost-white etc. whatever, it's gloomy alright!

As I look across the street, a colourful Indian Chief statue stands so prominently, opposite the bus stop. He stays at his post every day for the entire year, the year after that, and so on. The numerous stories he must absorb from his look-out, that could be so intriguing to tap into.

The Chief draws attention to the nearby, innovative garden centre as he stands in excess of 6-feet tall. He neither reacts or responds to anything said or done... Just imagine where the Chief's observations could take all you writers' out there!

Unsettling Odour...

I heard him politely say, "excuse me" as he swiftly placed a discarded newspaper behind his back, on taking the seat next to me on the bus. He shook out another paper on settling, and actively scanned it.

An overwhelming and distasteful smell immediately wafted in my direction. I couldn't determine whether it was from his clothes or skin but whatever, it took precedence over my reading and remained in my nostrils.

I was so relieved as the bus emptied and he moved to an alternative seat, a couple of rows in front, just far enough to improve my creature comforts for the short distance that remained.

He had golden skin, jet black hair with sides styled into a ponytail, positioned just above the nape of his neck, where he'd left a layer combed straight. As he proceeded to remove his silver suit jacket, he revealed a purple cardigan over a matching purple pinstriped shirt. He wore spectacles and conducted himself in a very businesslike manner.

I found myself considering his place of origin and speculating as to the nature of his employ. I reached the conclusion that he had to be in sales. This was definitely a sleek negotiator!

What passenger experience can you share?

Lone Passenger...

It was 7.20am, as I arrived to the bus stop.

My attention was drawn immediately to cans cast aside, sheets from a newspaper littering the verge and trashed cigarette packets, all signs of the previous night.

Beyond the refreshing birdsong, heralding a new day, the trees stretched their branches in the foreground of an emerging blue sky, like x-rays against an electric light.

The stillness of the abandoned pavements was interrupted only as a runner passed me, crossed the empty road and headed down a nearby hill.

The bitterness surfacing my face told me it was time the bus came, as I took a glimpse of it approaching.

I was a lone passenger, feeling illuminated as the bus departed, its' lighting so prominent against the sleepy town, that I was leaving behind.

My 75-minute journey to work allowed me ample time to note some thoughts as a lone passenger and immerse myself in some light reading, "The Day Job" by Mark Wallington.

How was it for you, first thing this morning?

Why is it, non-fragrant flowers can be so appealing?

I couldn't resist buying some anemones yesterday... Just eleven poker-straight stems, all a shade of deep purple and in tight bud, even though I know full well they do not provide the slightest hint of fragrance, which is normally the appealing factor that leads me to put my hand in my pocket, to buy flowers.

There is something attractive about how anemones open and bloom when in water. I am fascinated by how each stem curves or bends to create an overall cupped-hands shape, once in a vase. The light seems to determine how each flower opens or the immediacy of its' opening.

I couldn't help notice the houses opposite were gleaming as the early morning sunshine was projecting upon them having fought its' way through the aftermath of a frost. The morning was bright and my anemones enhanced that glow, besides being so welcoming, as I took a grip on today.

Anemones have been described as the symbol of love and daintiness - how come? I can believe that of Freesias, as they are so dainty with a most delicate and refreshing, room-absorbing fragrance.

I have made a decision to make time to select freshly cut flowers for my home - a piece of my puzzle that I have allowed to go missing!

“Let Love and Friendship Reign”...

Amongst the many Christmas cards I received there was one entirely covered in baubles, a kaleidoscope of vibrant colours. Even better was what was written in it, an invitation to return to the Cottage, where my late husband and I transformed our first dwelling into a home and started a family. The place where our children now tell me how they enjoyed their younger years growing up.

Predicted to be an emotionally hard thing to do, the warm and thoughtful invite, to pop in if we felt we could, is too tempting for me, born so curious, to turn down.

The old door-knocker, a Claddagh ring that we had both searched high and low for, has been put to one side for us to take away with us. A door accessory which carries so much more than pure sentiment and stories.

For those of you that do not know the significance of Claddagh...
Claddagh is a fishing Village in County Galway, Southern Ireland where this ring; two hands reaching around a heart was originally crafted (although not a place I've visited) The Heart symbolises Love, the Crown - Loyalty and the Hands –Friendship. “Let Love and Friendship Reign” where the Claddagh ring exists.

Bus 'n' book....

Its a "collars up, umbrellas open" kind of day; the gloomy weather is not relenting. I feel glad the wind and rain becomes a blurr behind the condensation on the bus windows, as I make myself comfortable in one of the passengers' seats.

I opened my book which immediately transported me from those with either ear-plugs in, passengers resorting to nail picking or like the lady sat just in front of me, who used her hand as a comb and repeatedly attempted to put her hair straight. I resisted a deep urge to ask her to stop and to tell her that nothing she'd do to her hair could improve it, other than a thorough wash of course!

The story-line of my book is gripping and I simply have to read on to see where this journey will take me. Between the pages I find a bright day packed with action. I have survived another night, I am breathing and as always, strive to get the most from another day.

Reading for Widows

Within an instant, I became a widow in my early 50's...
- a pill that is proving quite impossible to swallow, even now after 2+ years and in the company of our rewarding teenage family.

Working many hours to repay a mortgage, my lone journeys by bus seem shorter since approaching each one as "my time" and indulged in a good read as opposed to dwelling on the inconveniences of public transport.

What do widows read? Perhaps you can make some suggestions... ?

I used to read purely to source information, however now I am drawn to light novels that include: widows, humour, hope and companionship.

I started by reading the hilarious; "Dear Fatty", Dawn French's memoirs, Julie Walters autobiography and "Toast" by Nigel Slater. I then got hooked when I discovered Author, Debbie Macomber - her books: Christmas in Seattle, Twenty Wishes, Thursdays at Eight and Old Boyfriends. Alongside I have read: Good Grief by Lolly Winston, Storytelling by Annette Simmons and Emotional Rollercoaster by Claudia Hammond.

Acceptance and open mindedness have definitely proved good routes to explore and develop. How about you?